as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
