Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
