hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
They have beer where we have blood.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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