So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
