Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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