check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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