I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
