..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
