i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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