you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
