Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
