Too much gin, very little bucket
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
