I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
