He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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