pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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