nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Swine flu is the new snow day.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
