Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
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