You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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