was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Your cock deserves a montage
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
