do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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