We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
