why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
