I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Randomize
