Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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