kristin has been a bad kristin
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
