I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
