what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
