How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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