it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Randomize
