Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
This house was built for laser tag.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
