fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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