i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Randomize
