i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
