don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
