I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
