Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
