You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
