no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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