Don't make out with my wife yet
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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