making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
