We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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