When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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