I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
