Cold hands, warm shart.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
