How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
