after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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