peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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