Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize