I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
