he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
ok first of all what the fuck
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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