she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
