im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
