Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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